HOME. We're resting. We knew we'd need this SUNDAY to rest after the last few days we've experienced with a dying brother-in-law and with this coming week having medical appointments lined up with not knowing if we will be attending a funeral in a few days or not.
We traveled to Des Moines on Thursday knowing our brother-in-law had a scan and it didn't look like he was going to hear good news. We had planned to go last week-end and decided it would be better to wait until later to go there. This scan news alerted us, we need to go and go now. We quickly packed a couple of overnight bags and took off. Stayed with my Mom.
The doctor told my sister that if people wanted to see Harold, they had better come now.
We went straight to the hospital to see our brother-in-law. There were other family members there as well. He was very groggy, then woke up some to tell us to go get some rest because tomorrow was going to be a good day. I hugged my sister and chatted some. She is taking this all very hard. We stayed until 9:30 PM or so and went to my Mom's for the night.
On Friday, he was unbelievably chipper and alert. Very talkative, but then this is the way he usually is. This was a good day. He knew us and we all talked freely.
Hospice visited with my sister about their program. Medicare does not pay for the room, but everything else. They will keep him comfortable until he dies. To admit him there, a down payment of $3,750.oo is needed up front for 15 days. If the patient passes before the 15 days is up, some of the money is returned. If they live longer $250.oo a day is required. Harold told me that it all comes down to money. He's right. Wouldn't it be humane to move him to a different Hospital room elsewhere in the Hospital where Medicare would pay for it and allow him to die there? I understand they need the beds for those getting cancer treatment and if your cancer treatment is over you leave the bed. I understand that, but I also understand that mercy is humane. After the doctor signs papers saying the patient is terminally ill, the patient is not allowed to take up a hospital bed. They can be relocated to their home to pass or Hospice. My sister does not want her Husband to pass in their home and she doesn't want that image in her head after he is gone. Understandable.
On Saturday, my sister called and told us that the Hospital was going to move him to Hospice at 11. Hubby and I were in our car when the call came in while we were trying to get air for the car tires. We drove straight to the Hospital so we could see Harold before he would be moved to Hospice.
Saturday he had a different personality. He didn't know people and wanted to be alone because he wasn't feeling good. He'd be sedated. After falling asleep, I said my good-byes as I stood beside the bed and told him thank you for all the good he had done for me. Good-bye, Harold. I love you. I'll see you on the other side. These will more than likely be my last words to him before he leaves his body and heads to heaven. We'd be leaving Des Moines shortly.
I walked out of the room and talked with my sis and hugged her.
As we walked down the hall, two men were taking a gurney to his room. We went ahead and waited in the Chapel as they rolled him out of his room and out of the Hospital to take to Hospice in an ambulance. They disappeared in the elevator and we went to our car to head out of town.
He is suffering and my prayer now is that God be merciful and take him.
We got on the road and stopped off at Topeka to eat Supper. Got HOME late. Exhausted.
SUNDAY. My sister texted Hubby telling him that this morning was not good. Harold is very agitated and did not want my sister to kiss him or touch him. He said she was a part of putting him in Hospice and he did not want to go. He didn't know his own sister and told her to get out of his room. He wanted to go HOME, but there is no way my sister can take care of him at this time. No way.
End of life information shares about the person's moods changing having confusion, not knowing people, etc. Right now it isn't like in the movies where people pass quietly. Some people do die peacefully, not all. My Father passed quietly in the night as my Brother did as well. Quietly.
I have a few chores I really need to work on today. Tomorrow is a medical appointment for Hubby and afterwards, I think we'd best get our funeral clothing ready for our trip back to Des Moines when the time comes.
~d
