TODAY WAS DEDICATED TO INNER HEALING. This meant intense dialogue with my Husband. I n t e n s e. I cannot always put my feelings into words or explain in-depth of my soul in the human language. The words are not there. I can't even form them at times. I'm slow to piece the words together. I know I'm not alone in this challenge.
The extremely, hurtful disappointments in life I have had sometimes come rushing back with PTSD that weigh heavily on me. When the thing that has caused pain in the past, is still in the picture of the present then it hasn't been successfully dealt with. IT'S A TRIGGER. That "THING" that shouldn't be in the picture at all has to be crucified so healing takes place. If you are continually returning to the destructive place that causes more dysfunction, then another episode of horror will be created. If the offensive party simply says, sorry, but returns to what has caused the pain in the first place then saying sorry isn't correcting or fixing the injury. Healing will not take place.
Being the object targeted by the offender is hellish. Not getting my point of view across to the offender because the offender ignores my feelings as if I have none and uses me as their personal scapegoat, becomes a battlefield not only of the mind, but also erodes the harmony of the home. A TOXIC environment. It causes additional pain when being ignored because the offender's moral code is wayward and treats me as if I have no value or importance.
THIS THERAPY SESSION on a HOT Summer's day and I do think of it as a therapy session, was exhausting. Explosive, but not threatening. The evening is calmer and I'm looking for this day to be over. We made progress with the healing that sorely needed to take place. pause.
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We're getting ready to fix a well balanced supper that is healthy and fit for our physical needs. Turkey Patties with sugar-free catsup, small lettuce salad with tomatoes from the garden and corn on the cob. Water to drink.
I have studied up and read a variety of articles and watched videos about how to eat and what to eat. I am on a caloric reduction food program to where I record what I eat. In order to lose 1 pound a week I have to have a calorie deficit of 500 calories a day. 500 calories x 7 days = 3500 calories which equals a pound lost.
Sounds simple enough. Can it be? It has to be. At present, I believe when I weigh in at the doctor's appointment next week, I will weigh less than I did at last year's physical. This is part of my goal.
Hopefully, I'll return to walking in the morning which will help with my weight loss and well being. Because of what happened onWednesday, I will scale back to 5 laps which will be a 1 and 1/4 mile. I'll do this for a few days and then bump the milage to 1 and 1/2 mile.
Simplification is key to weight loss.
When it comes to FOOD: Basically breakfast, lunch and supper will be the same formula each day with no snacks. Until I reach my goal weight, I plan on not adding any extras unless it's a special occasion such as a birthday, anniversary, company, holiday and then I'll hop on the wagon again after the treat for simplicity again. The formula will remain basically the same.
IN A NUTSHELL:
Breakfast: Protein, fat, fruit, and grain.
Lunch: 4 oz. protein and vegetables.
Supper: 4 oz of protein and vegetables.
Breakfast such as 2 eggs, avocado toast, 2 slices of turkey bacon and some fresh fruit. Water.
Lunch will be a 4 oz. chicken breast, small side salad of lettuce, tomatoes and some grilled veggies like carrot sticks. Water.
Supper will be 4 oz. of fish, a side salad and some grilled veggies like asparagus. Water.
Next day. Same breakfast.
Lunch will be 4 oz. of turkey, small side salad and grilled veggies of corn on the cob.
Supper will be 4 oz. of beef, side salad, grilled veggies like broccoli and water.
Day 3. Breakfast will be Scottish Oatmeal with almond milk, cinnamon, sliced almonds and blueberries.
Lunch will be 4 oz. fish, salad, grilled veggies like green beans.
Supper will be 4 oz. turkey, salad, veggies like zucchini and water.
Day 4. Breakfast repeat.
Lunch 4 oz. beef, salad, mixed veggies, water.
Supper chicken, salad, mixed veggies, water.
As for the protein drinks I bought, I might sneak one in for a hunger saver if I'm struggling.
Well, I have kicked this diet thing around and around. I continue to walk, pray and eat. Naps are permitted.
THURSDAY has been recorded as a day of healing. Giving simplicity a chance.
Until next time...
