A RECIPE FOR DIVORCE

WELCOME THURSDAY!  Started the day early and felt awful.  Taking LIFE easy as I rest.  So tired.  Pretty sure the traveling caught up with me.  I was too tired to climb back into the car yesterday to travel to Manhattan for a Vitamin B12 injection, but I managed to do so.  Cranky as all get out.  Too tired to be around anyone.  Once I got to Manhattan and got the shot, I relaxed and enjoyed my tea and shopping at HOBBY LOBBY then the grocery store to get more veggies for our week to eat.

Already HL has their CHRISTMAS items for sell at 40% and 50% off.  I purchased ornaments for the Grands under 21 years of age.  I figure that after 21 they don't need ornaments from Granny. Plus the next generation has started so they are receiving FIRST CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS from us.  Then it will be up to their Grandparents to provide these for them if they desire to continue a TRADITION I loved doing each year.  My PARENTS treated my children with ornaments each CHRISTMAS as I did.  

I had hoped to get some more oversized red CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS for the porch, but even at 50% off they were pricey.  A few onion looking ornaments were purchased.  I think I have enough for the porch now.  I can see the porch decorated!  In September the porch needs another serious coat of paint THEN it will be ready in October/November to start hanging lights if we go that route.  

THIS THURSDAY, I stayed HOME over the noon hour with HUBBY out at the storage unit packing up tools from his tool chest that he is moving into our garage, I thought I'd rest up.  It didn't happen.  I am just exhausted from traveling on Tuesday and Wednesday.  After almost three years in storage, the baby tools are coming HOME so we can get our hands on them easier. 

He came in the house sopping wet from working in the heat getting to the tools.  He's napping right now and I'm playing on the computer.  He said he loaded the second cabinet and base of the chest in PETE, our PT CRUISER.  It is wonderful to make it this far.  He'll unload the parts into the garage after his nap.  This is progress for real.

The area in the storage unit where the tool chest was has a hole to fill.  Probably tomorrow, he will take apart the muscle rack that will fill the hole.  To assemble it will take time, some muscle and sweat.  

The CHRISTMAS BOXES I have in our Living room will be transferred to the unit.  This is the start of organizing the DECOR.  I have been thinking about what will go on the porch for CHRISTMAS DECOR.  Newer, oversized ornaments are in storage boxes stacked by the front door ready to go to their new location I re-boxed them a few days ago making progress on how to store them.  Looking good.

The things that will decorate the front porch will be grouped together in the storage unit. Making sense of all this mess will elevate some stress that doesn't need to be in my LIFE.  Lessening STRESS has got to help with high blood pressure. 

I'll have to move in slow-mo getting the other boxes out of the cellar 'cause I'll have to carry them as I climb the steps.  Great exercise.  I know I want to group all the Nativity Scenes together on a metal rack that will be waiting for them in the storage unit.  We have to clean out the entire storage unit first before the tubs can be stored on them.  Perhaps by the end of next week, we will be there.  Getting into September now.  That's a good thing.  Yes, it is.

👰👰👰👰👰👰👰👰

OUR 52nd Wedding Anniversary is fast approaching.  August 31st.  Trying to decide what to do to celebrate.  A good HOME COOKED meal.  Quiet time.  Watching a movie.  Looking at our wedding pictures.  It has been a life time ago we said I do and did.

52 years.  It's been a ride.  I'm ready to forge ahead.  When you are standing at the wedding alter exchanging vows and promises, it would be helpful to have in the wedding vows that you both need to forgive the heartache created while married AND it should also say that forgiveness does not give you the right to be TOXIC and continue being toxic.  Reconciliation cannot take place if both Husband and Wife do not change wrong behavior that's destroying the marriage to better behavior.  It is more than that.  

Simply saying, I'll try harder and then not correcting the wrong, will not create a HAPPY HOME. It is a recipe for divorce.  As the partner being injured by lip service when real change needs to take place or you're going along to get along no matter what, may cause additional emotional issues that injure you even further and destroy your self worth.  A walk down memory lane is not the answer.  Healing may take years to get at.  Years.

Working together for the betterment of the union should be a reality.  Give and take.  Take and give.  Because you are the Wife and the Husband the head, does not mean he gets his way all the time or visa versa with emotional and physical needs ignored.  You are not a door mat.  You are not his Mother either and he's not your Dad.  Neither ONE is a puppet or punching bag. Hopefully, the two of you are a couple partnered as one in a loving relationship of compassion and consideration. ONE.  Being respectful toward each other.  

Hubby is to love, protect, and provide for the Wife.  Wife is to respect her Husband and be a help meet.  Tis easier to do if we do not have hard feelings about being mistreated and abused.  Work together encouraging each other and be evenly yoked where you can flourish.  Amen.

God bless and be real.  
If you do not know what to do when living within a toxic marriage, 

PRAY and ask for wisdom.  You may need professional counseling and support.

If for some reason divorce has to take place,
know that God loves you and will be there for you in your time of need.

Sometimes marriages fall apart and end in divorce.  
Sometimes not, but are horribly difficult to stay in.  

My heart goes out to you,

~d

Wedded Bliss

Husband and I will be celebrating our 39th Wedding Anniversary this week-end!  39 years.  That's a while.

Our actual wedding day was a rainy one that cleared up just before our 6 o'clock service was to take place.  Beams of sunlight streaked through the clouds and the birds began to sing.  Our outdoor wedding would happen.

Life as a married Lady has been a great deal like this.
Just when I thought things were over....the atmosphere changed for the better!

We were sitting and chatting last night over a HOTDOG at Sam's. Hubby told me thank you for staying married to him.  You see it hasn't always been a bed of roses in our marriage.  Like most marriages, there have been some high hurdles to jump, wide rivers to swim, dry grounds to plow.

I know without a shadow of a doubt, that if my Husband had not embraced our Heavenly Father as his own, repented and changed, that we would have become a statistic and divorced.   There is hope in the Lord.  HOPE.  I have had to cling to God's mercy so many times.

Collapsing to the floor from being overwhelmed with distraught, my legs gave out.  I was a young woman at the time being 34 years of age when I came to understand how some people die from a broken heart.  Lying on the floor in a heap of humanity is where I cried out to God and whaled in despair.  My Jesus was faithful in giving me strength to get back up to take care of my children and home.  

It has been an on going work over the years to forgive, put to rest the past, enjoy the present and get excited about the future as Husband and Wife.  Without the Holy Spirit washing over us and through us, we would not have healed.  

This week-end, we will eat steak, baked potatoes and salad.  I will be going to the store here in just a little while to purchase items for our special celebration between the two of us.  While we have a special meal together to celebrate 39 years of marriage, I cannot say it has been wedded bliss the entire time, but can focus on the good that has come as a couple.  Embracing the forgiveness and mercy we have had to have during this time as a married couple.  Thanking God for what He has shown us through it all.  I'll take the phone off the hook.  Place a do not disturb sign on the door.  Light some candles, put some soft music on. Sit together and talk.  Remembering that special day of saying our wedding vows with great expectation of a future together.  

Please wish us well.
May your week-end be a sweet one.
d

Marriage~ Edith Schaffer Lederberg

Marriage is a covenant between two people who deeply sense that their lives are, and always will be, shared as one.

Marriage is the fulfillment of a dream and an awareness that reality also can bring us the beauty of dreams.

Marriage is a promise that today is the beginning of a future that will nurture love, respect, honor and mutual faith as the greatest strengths for its foundation.

Marriage is an understanding between two sensitive, intelligent, and caring people who have evidenced that true love can survive all obstacles and grow stronger with the passage of time.

~Edith Schaffer Lederberg

edwardian bride

Beautiful Edwardian Bride

Isn't she lovely all dressed up in her wedding attire 

holding a beautiful wedding bouquet on a glorious wedding day?

The month of May is here.  

Traditionally many marry this month as well as June. 

The weather in Midwest America is usually pleasant
and the Harvest isn't in yet.
Time to say, "I do!" and kiss your sweetheart.
Off to a Honeymoon.

Truthfully, any day that people get married by saying Christian Vows
is a beautiful day for a Wedding.
Entering into Marriage and joining two together
as Husband and Wife is beautiful.
What God has joined together, let no one put asunder.

What is the correct reason to marry?
Why do people marry?

Is it for blessings or curses? 
For better or for worse?  To build up or to destroy? 
Is it for earthly gain or heavenly preparation?
Is it because of pride, position, title, money, purpose, love, companionship? 
To build a life together, to cherish another, have a trophy mate, earn stocks?
For property, legalized sex, ownership of children, to start a family?
To get a green card, to ruin another's life, to please the church, make me look good? 
Make me look bad, an opportunity to mature, have security,
 an opportunity to act like a child, mature into an adult? 
To gain an identity, make others feel sorry, make others jealous?
 Make others envy, advancement on the road of spiritual enlightenment,
have someone to do your dirty work, have someone clean up after you, to have someone?
To please the parents, because every one else is, manipulate others, manipulate the spouse,
have someone to do the laundry, could be fun?  To advance in a career, look important, be taken? 
To bless another, bless oneself, grow, change, to be a somebody, to be a nobody, because I can?
 To gain respect, escape a country, change the last name, seems like the right thing to do at the time?
Do people marry to cause pain, increase joy, have somebody else that will pay the bills,
 just because?
 To share a life, grow old together, be a sweatheart, develope into a decent person? 
For religious growth, insurance benefits, becoming Husband and Wife?
 An adventure, make a covenant, see how it goes, play a game, enrich the soul?
To have and to hold for this day forward, to have a Soul mate,  have a sweetheart, because I want to? 

To become one in the eyes of God, pleasing God,
doing what is right, don't know?

Why do people marry?
The reasons are as numerous as the people who enter into marriage.

For whatever the reasons people marry, God can make your marriage into what it should be.
There doesn't have to be a parting of the ways, a bitter heart, accept that you've grown apart,
the love growns cold, there never was a spark, I married the wrong person,  etc.

He is willing to bless you.  You have to want it as a couple. 
You have to be willing to change and willing to do things the way God wants you to. 
You have to be willing to work as a couple with God and not as a single individual.
You have to have an active part in making marriage work and be a blessing.

It isn't all about self, career and sex.
It isn't about being worshipped.

The reason people should marry
is one that God can explain and honor.
He is the creator of marriage in the first place.
He desires you to be blessed according to His reasons and purposes.

Ask Him for help and understanding.
Ask Him to BLESS this marriage that you are in.
Ask Him what He wants.
Ask Him what a covenant is.
Ask Him to birth in you a new love for your spouse
and to be the right person for each other.
Ask Him to give you the strength you need.
Ask Him to refresh your spirit and soul.
Ask Him and then be willing.
Ask for a hedge of protection about yours and your spouse's mind,
 body, home and marriage.


Marriage is a covenant relationship that goes deeper and further than name only.
 It should be a safe haven between husband and wife
where the marriage bed is not defiled or ignored.
Intimate in conversation and partnership.
Marriage should be a place of honor and trust.
Where you are cherished, adored, encouraged and blessed.
Where you return this to your spouse in a loving way.

I married my Husband because I loved him.

Because I wanted to.

I wanted to be Mrs. Husband's first and last name.

 To become full time companions.  

To become a Wife to my bestest friend so we could be together all the time.
A couple that lived together under the same roof building a life together.

Later God opened my eyes to understand that marriage is

a covenant relationship which has God's blessings
as Husband and Wife.

Being one flesh.

To have a family.

A home.

God would see to it that our marriage would have huge meaning and purpose.

God would see to it that we would mature and cherish life together as husband and wife.

God would see to it that we would grow to understand what it means to lay one's life down 

for one another.  

 God would see to it that we would truly understand that marriage is not all about self.

That it isn't all about possessions, property, sex or money.

God would open our eyes to understand more than we did than when we started out.

That we need God to give us wisdom about who we are as a couple 

and to have a love toward one another that no other human on the planet has.

Our priorities changed for the better along the way.

God blessed us and opened our eyes of understanding about what marriage is about.

Why we should marry in the first place.

Why we should stay married.

Why we should love one another as husband and wife.

The why of this covenant relationship.

I am pro marriage between one man and one woman with Father God at the head, 

a Christ centered union that's Holy Spirit filled and fed, 

where understanding husband is the protective leader that's provides
blended with respectful wife being a loving helper that nurtures.

I know not the name of this Edwardian Bride in this picture.

I know not what became of her or how she lived her life, 

but it looks like she started out in her marriage as a beautiful bride 

holding Lilies 

and wearing a gorgeous wedding dress to become a Mrs.

She took the time to have a picture taken.

Ours Lilies bloomed this week.
We have 9 this Spring.
Enough for a Bouquet.

Sweet days ahead,
~d~

Recipe For A Happy Home

image found on internet

Sweet blessings to you. 
I came across this image and thought it would be great to share for a MARRIAGE MONDAY post.

Something I think would enhance this recipe towel would be the reminder to pray together as Husband and Wife.  Also as a Family.  Saying I love you and need you.  Don't go to bed angry.  Don't let the sun go down on your anger.  Ephesians 4:26 and 27 states BE YE ANGRY, AND SIN NOT; let not the sun go down upon your wrath:  Neither give place to the devil.

May we have HAPPY HOMES that are a special place away from the world.  A SAFE HAVEN to call our own and warm our hearts.
d

Today I'm Ill

Determined to do some yard work on the week-end.  So I did.  I already had a sore throat.  Thought it was due to the smoke coming from the burning of the Prairies.  For weeks now, the prairies have been lit to burn.  It's a yearly ritual that I seem to forget about until I smell the March burnings.

All will be finished in May.  Just a few more days till May.  Still I cannot leave my house windows open to let in fresh Spring air while the camp fire smell whips about.

By Monday night I was really sick.  The sore throat was gone and replaced with a stuffed up nose, watery eyes, sneezing and coughing.  All this turned into a horrible cough that racked my entire body.

I couldn't baby sit Tuesday or Wednesday.  Was sleeping off and on throughout this time.  The sweats and chills, then nausea.....not fun.

My Husband has taken care of me.  He brings me cold medicines when needed and pain reliever.  Fixes meals and brings me beverages to sip on when I can.  This is a real MAN.

The sweetness of marriage comes through when the husband is committed to nurse his sick wife.

I know that there is alot of hype over the Royal Wedding that will take place in a few days.  Kate is such a pretty young thang.  She will truly look beautiful in her wedding gown.  Very pretty with lots of photos to see later.  BUT it saddens me to think that Kate and William have lived together out of wedlock for about 4 years.  There doesn't seem to be any shame in their lives or respect for God's counsel.  Do we love our sex lives more than we love God?

Already this couple like thousands of others see no shame in shacking up together without being married.  Already they have thumbed their noses at God's counsel about it being wrong to live together while not being married.  If adultery enters the picture after marriage will it not break one of their hearts that it happened...perhaps children will be in the marriage at the time.  Will the children be affected by adultery?  More than likely.  God says adultery is wrong as well.  God knows best.

To have a covenant relationship as husband and wife is more than a physical thing.  It's spiritual as well. You're no longer two, but have become one flesh.

For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.....a beautiful commitment when things get difficult.  When the goin' gets tough.  No body else in the universe has your place with your spouse than you.

~Deanna~