marriage monday

~CHRIST IS THE HEAD OF THIS HOUSE~

The unseen Guest at every meal,

the silent LISTENER to every conversation.

Marriage Monday series.....is Christ the head of one's HOUSE?  
The head of one's HOME?


Building a life with my Husband 
and surrendering to the Lord is an ongoing life lesson.


God richly bless you and bless our homes.


I'm still learning,
~d~ 

Why I decided To Become A Homemaker

At the time of this writing, I'm 56 years old.  
Been married 37 years and have never been asked
why I became a Homemaker...ev verrrrrrrrer.  

EVAH? NEVAH.

When I was about 22, a Vaccuum Salesman came to my HOME and asked me, "You're JUST a Housewife?"  I took it wrong.  It hit a raw nerve.  What I thought he was implying struck a bad cord.  

This was in a day when it wasn't scary to open the door to a salesman.  He was assisted by one of my College friends that I knew.  Ching ching....made a sale. 

It's from women just like me that buy vaccuum sweepers to clean their humble abodes.  It wasn't the norm back in the early seventies to remain in the HOME as a FULL TIME HOMEMAKER...off to work we go...a job...a career out side the home...a position that makes money and has a title (position) so you can be a somebody and......pay taxes. 

This mind set that you aren't a complete person unless you are employed started a while back.  From personal experience, homemakers were viewed differently than those in the workforce.  

Some people believe that you 'aint a anybody unless you issss making money. 

Going back in time...Television broadcasted a commercial of a singing woman in a business suit.  Bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan, 'cauz i'm a women. w. o. m. a. n.  The Vietnam War had already ended.  Being LIBERATED as a Women Libbers was encouraged.  Burning of the Bras a thing of the past.  President Nixon had saluted the sky in public with a Peace Sign as he left this distinguished office early because of Watergate.  MEN stopped opening doors for REAL WOMEN who were insulted that a man would do such a thang.  After all....who needs a 
M A N.......i am a wooooo man, woooo mannnnn say it again.  Helen Reddy would sing it...HEAR ME ROAR IN NUMBERS TOO BIG TO IGNORE.  And down came the hammer.

I suppose that if I had told the Salesman.....oooh no, I'm a career woman and you just lucked out catching barefooted me at home in the middle of the day holding this baby on my hip doing chores on my day off...I would of somehow had more value to this salesman?  Wasn't my money as good as a career woman's?  Somehow it seems to be.

At that time in history....i could have spit nails.......it didn't rest with me when asked what i did AS IF being a homemaker was rated as a second class citizen with no brain in one's head with no talents/skills and no importance as a human being as if being a homemaker was not enough...eventually i came to have peace about this question asked me.  E v e n t u a l l y.

BUT FIRST came the effort to give the public a better description of what I did 9 to 5 plus evenings and Holidays and week-ends and like all the time, day after day after day.  I liked it when Domestic Engineer was brought to light.  I boasted I was a Domestic Engineer.  THEN I grew tired of boasting. 

With trying to be more sensitive toward the homemaker/housewife occupation, I'd hear, "Do you work outside the home?"   Some were not sure what to say next when I'd reply, "Yes, sometimes I work in the yard outside my home."  I'd chuckle...got 'cha.

When I married in 1974 I became a homemaker that was a college student.  I was a college student that worked (EMPLOYED) and took care of domestic chores, wife and almost pregnant homemaker.  Through the years being a HOMEMAKER developed into something I truly wanted to be fulltime along with being a fulltime momma.

My Homemaking Career morphed into something that I believe was by God's Design for my life.  When I did become pregnant, deep thoughts surfaced from the back of my mind and from the pit of my belly (my spirit).  I began to think I was going to become somebody's momma.  It wasn't all about me anymore.  Part of self died.  And it needed to.  Life took on a different outlook.  Still I was off the mark as a wife.  This would morph later.  Pity it didn't happen at the beginning of the marriage.  Being a WIFE......I was gender confused concerning marital roles and responsibilities in God's economy.  More on that later.  

The beautiful institution of marriage.  I grew up watching my momma take charge of home matters.  Dad worked long hours and he wasn't a take charge kind of guy in his home...mom was.  At least one of the adults was.  Dad was quieter about his at home duties.  I misunderstood what was going on.  Mom was mom and she was in charge of children, home, meals, cooking, cleaning, decorating, repairs, etc.  So much of what my Dad did wasn't explained to little ole me.  I misunderstood how this all worked.  

Through the years I'd come to understand My Dad's LOVE LANGUAGE to his family was to work hard at his job, love my Mom and provide material necessities for us all.  He was there for us.  He'd come home in the evening.

When I was 18 and dating my husband, I was carefree and stupid to say the least.  I didn't look much further than the tip of my nose.  I had little vision about present or the future.  I was contented to have NEXT TO NOTHING in material things....but when I married and love gifts were given to help set up a household...I liked it!  

GETTING MARRIED jiggled loose a desire to play house.  Then when I became pregnant, I NOTICED that I wasn't pleased with not having a baby bed for my baby.  There were things the BABY would need.  Diapers, baby bottles, food, grooming supplies, clothing, socks, shoes, sheets, blankets, toys, the list went on.  Don't forget the LOVE and TIME needed for a Baby.

This was A turning point in my life.  My Heart's CRY was coming to the surface.  I didn't want a baby sitter or daycare provider to RAISE my child.  My child.  I wanted the privilege of raising my own child.  CHILDREN.

Why a HOMEMAKER?  Because.....to me it meant something important to establish a home for my husband and our children.  As time passed.....I wanted to be a HOMEMAKER all the more.  Being called a housewife doesn't ruffle my feathers anymore.  Though I'm not a wife to a house...it no longer bugs me to be called a housewife.  I'm a person married to my husband, a wife and a homemaker.  A KEEPER OF THE HOME 
(a beautiful thing)...Biblical description to enjoy and honor.

Years earlier I wanted our HOME to be a welcoming place for our family.  Moving can be truly stressful.  New location, new neighborhood, bank, school, doctors, church, activities, routines, stores, expenses, etc.  Having to say GOOD-BYE to friends wasn't easy.  Having to say good-bye can be challenging and eye opening.

We'd relocate so often that I thank God that I was able to stay home to set up housekeeping to create a warm home environment for my family when uprooted to soothe the upheaval that came from moving. 

The children are grown now with families of their own.  I still am a Homemaker.

I became familiar with blogging about 6 years ago.
I loved it when I read that one Lady who did her housework called it A HOME BLESSING.
I loved it when I read that being a godly woman that is a homemaker is A KEEPER OF THE HOME.
I loved the uplifting verbage that I was reading....you see for the longest time I hadn't heard encouraging words directed toward women that wanted to be homemakers, wives and mothers.  Not in Church, not from relatives, not from friends, not in society.  

SPOKEN WORDS OF LIFE TO ME concerning being a Homemaker weren't shared.  An Art Teacher I had as a High School Freshmen asked me to research Homemakers as a Career when we were doing reports in class.  A Male Art Teacher.  I wonder where he is today. 

Before blogging I hadn't heard many loving words about being a homemaker period. 

From the public school system it was more or less engrained into me that I was to go to college and get a job.  PAY THOSE TAXES BABEEEEE.  Public school promoted that I wouldn't be a somebody if I didn't have a college degree and e m p l o y m e n t.  There was little mention of sharing my life with a husband and children, growing up and having a home of my own.  Being a law abiding tax paying citizen of the united states was expected.  Cudos.  I have sensed this for years.

HOMEMAKERS...I CHEER YOU ON!  YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING OF ETERNAL IMPORTANCE.

When I was growing up I'd go into HOMES where the Mom stayed HOME to take care of business, I admired their clean homes and sweet personalities.  And if the Christian Wife was employeed, I noticed her sweet personality.  Being Christian made all the difference.

On a godly level at my childhood HOME, little was discussed about who to marry, what to look for in a spouse, how to make a living, how to make a HOME.  I compared NOTES between what was being taught at school and what was going on at HOME.  By observation I learned.  Raising a Family is more than keeping a clean house and fixing meals.  The close and personal conversations about godly lifestyles and why we should be godly need to be a part of the upbringing of children.  Why we need God in our lives should be explained to where a child can understand this important character building reality.

As a married woman with children that moved around a great deal, I found a circle of Christian Ladies everywhere we lived and grew to desire having a godly home where we supported morals, taught right from wrong and WHAT WOULD JESUS DO.  I grew to admire women that were stay at home wives, moms and homemakers.  I practiced and exercised living on one income and with God's help when I bottomed out with not having peace in my life....God showed up to teach me a better and more excellent way to live in this world.

There are sooooo many wonderful blogs out there where others follow websites based off of domestic skills and decorating homes.  I know there's a huge audience made up of those that LOVE THEIR HOMES and FAMILIES that want very much to be better at being a domestic goddess with inviting homes that produces happy hubbies and balanced children.  They crave making their HOMES a better place.  Their hearts desire personal homes.

I've also noticed a cultural push presented by the media and others in this day an' age to NOT GET MARRIED and NOT EAT MEAT.  HUG A TREE and abort a Family.  The Bible speaks of such a time when marriage will not be encouraged by people and foods especially MEAT are a taboo.  Another blog post for sure. 

Marriage is a wonderful thing.  A awesome institution.  Having a home is a wonderful place.  Having children is wonderful.  Eating is a wonderful thing.  

Many talk among themselves that being unwed is the way to go and we should not consume calories or breathe air.  Having less is more and there's no need to be a christian.  Down size, downsize, downsize till you have nothing because whallah we don't need stuff that we don't use everyday and if you haven't used that thing in over a year, pitch it.  I question, well you don't use the money that you have in the bank...does that mean you don't need it?  You don't wear more than one pair of underpants at a time...does that mean you don't need more than one pair of underpants?   You don't sit in more than one chair at a time....does that mean you should only own one chair?  Getting off the subject matter...rant. 

In many ways I am my own boss that operates an estate.  It takes skill and discipline to be a good housekeeper, balance the books, stay on a budget, decorate, create, cook, clean, shop for bargains, sew, create, organize, do the laundry, create, garden, can goods, schedule appointments, social secretary, create, carpool, provide childcare, give instructions and directions, create, meet deadlines, and on an' on.

Many think that being a homemaker is beneath them. 

I understand that some women have no desire to stay home.
I understand that some want to stay home, but can't or won't.  I understand that I understand.  God be with you.    

Why did I become a Homemaker?  I wanted to be a full time homemaker.  I'm convinced that this is where I am to be for the time being.  Not to say that I won't take a job outside the house and be gainfully employed down the line.  Have mercy.  I may create a cottage business to generate additional funds.  A homemaker that makes some mulah$$$.  The virtuous woman did and does along the way of LIFE.

I have the awesome privilege to be able to stay at home.  At the present time the United States  g o v e r n m e n t   has not dictated to me how long I can stay at home or what line of work I must be occupied doing.  PRAISE GOD.  This is a wonderful blessing to have.  

If for some reason you do not have the privilege to stay home, God can give you the strength to do what is required of you.  God.  He can show you how to do what you have to do and do it well.  Staying at home full time or part time does have its challenges.  Lord, I seek you...how do you want me to do this? 

So why did I become a Homemaker in the first place.....I wanted to.   I feel called.  It is the BEST place for me to be.   

Domestically Yours,

~Deanna~