Temper Tantrums

Ever get so tired that it's really easy to feel sorry for yourself?  
Speaking from experience which makes me well seasoned at this. At times it seems like I have entered my second childhood because I want to CRY.  Whahhhhh.  Throw a fit, fall to the floor, kick and scream like a toddler.  Not really, but wouldn't that be a sight to behold at 60, middle aged, over weight and over tired.  THROW a hissy fit.  Perhaps this could be considered a way to increase stamina and be a legitimate form of cardio work out. 

Being ran down and over tired makes it much easier to become overwhelmed.  I know.  If you were in my shoes, you might trip 'cause I have large feet.  grins.  SO guard your heart.  Hear that Deanna...guard yo' heart.

Please do not tell my doctor that I am overwhelmed.  I know the routine all too well....let's put you on an antidepressant.  The buzz word is OVERWHELMED.  Avoid this word at all cost if you know it is a phase and will pass.  This MOOD will not last.  

It takes a village?  No.  It sometimes takes more than one person to get things whipped into shape.  Family helps.  Friends help.  A hired crew would help.  

I seem to be spinning my wheels at keeping a messy house.  I cannot get to the bottom of the messes before illness strikes.  The past ten days have been with illness and though I am doing better, I am still coughing and am ran down.  I forgot...I was ill all of September with sinus infection and before that my thyroid numbers were off and I was one exhausted Lady without a thyroid.  Okay.  I think my patience is being TESTED. 

Is she lying?

Waiting for my cleaning crew to get off their coffee break and get this house whipped into place hasn't happened yet.  I am human and get worked up and start complaining that we have too much stuff and not enough places to go with it so what are we gonna do with it?

GIVE IT AWAY.

THROW IT AWAY.

RECYCLE IT.

PACK IT.

STACK IT.

Know the drill? 

Am I being realistic?  Where did this fine junk come from?  Yes, I know the answer to that question.

I have lived the last 41 years collecting our treasures and started down sizing about 5 years ago.  41 years to collect and hopefully not 41 to down size.  I feel like it is taking forever to thin through stuff. 

First, I went through our clothing.  That took clothes to three years to thin out before I had to stop and give it a breather.  Then I went through drawers, more drawers and more closets.  

Thinned through hundreds of videos two Summers ago and musical tapes this past year.  Dishes and glassware are a on going process. The garage got attention last May....that was a big EVENT. Artwork, books and magazines gone through.  Not finished with the books. Paperwork and files. Nic nacs, dolls, children's childhood articles.  Christmas decorations last month.  Linens, bedding....am I just slower than a turtle on this stuff or am I really making headway with more to do?  

A little of both.

I thought if I hauled a trunk load of goodies ever so often, I would have order faster.  My attitude needs tweaked.  It is a very slow, drawn out course of events thinning through years and years and years of accumulation.  AM I making too big of a deal out of this? 

Probably.  

Just roll my sleeves up, take a deep breath and plow away. No looking back.  Am I in bondage thinking that I am making a mistake getting rid of this, that and the other?  Yes?  Trying to be a better steward of what I have.  Trying.  Trying really hard.  

Last night I loaded the trunk up with boxes of things to be taken to charity.  Hubby placed a heavy tub full of things in the back seat of the car as well.  Today, I drove to Manhattan and unloaded the goodies at the thrift shop.  More to go.  This has become my HOBBY.
  
Lord, help me thin through these belongings and down size. Please. The sooner the better.  Please.  I am tired.  I am slow.  I am human.  I know you're compassionate with me and patient.  Please help me be successful in this endeavor.  Please....and thank you for my dear Husband who does so much for me.

This past week-end, my Husband fixed a gas leak in the mechanical room.  He said it was a small leak.  Thankful he fixed it, but guess what he found curled on the window ledge.  Guess. How Mister snake got into the house is a mystery that needs solved.  Husband is my hero, again.

Today as I drove across the prairie the Kansas winds were dangerous as they blew with vicious power.  Made me a tad bit nervous driving my car beside semi-trailer trucks.  

Had LUNCH with my sweetheart.  Always a treat.  Shopped for a Grandson's birthday gift that we will present to him later in the month as he turns 6 years old.  What a nice age to celebrate.  Went to the Bank and the Post Office.  Drove HOME against the mighty Kansas wind.  Blue skies with comfortable temp.  Took a much needed nap.  

Tonight, we need to move a piece of furniture from the upstairs master bedroom down stairs into the family room.  I cleared the innards out already and placed in a clean laundry basket to carry downstairs.  Through out the week I should replace the things back into the desk.  A great opportunity to thin this lovely stuff out as well.  Mercy.  Mercy.

I do more than just handle "STUFF."  It seems like a second career to me.  I am HOME and that's a blessing, but I don't want this thinning out to be a way of life and all I know.  I'd like to be able to say, "It's completed."  Then remind myself to not get into this pattern again.

The humidifier is puffing vapors into the air.  The small heater unit is running to take the edge off of the chill in the room.  No television is on.  The still of the night is all around our cottage. Husband is on the sofa snoring as I type out my thoughts.

I laundered the red Christmas tablecloths, dried them and neatly hung them on hangers.  Soon they'll be hanging in the spare closet. Ahead of the game.  That helps.  There are some Christmas gifts needing wrapped for my grandchildren.  This should cause me to rejoice that there are gifts ready to go and I will not be panicking that there are no gifts.  This is a cause to rejoice.  REJOICE. 

Today I came across our CHRISTMAS PICKLE which made me smile.  I like to hide it on our CHRISTMAS TREE and let the Kids and Grands try to find it for a cash prize.  A simple treat to watch and make memories.  Now, not to lose where I place it until the tree is up.  Seriously, I will forget and it will me looking for the hidden pickle.

I know cold weather is coming and the adjustment of going from Autumn into frosty Winter gets me worked up.  I don't seem to ease into this changing of the seasons without some aggravation and agitation.  Soon the TIME CHANGE will take place.  Boo.  Hiss. 

That's what's really bothering me...whaah.  Now the deep rooted problem has been exposed.  Not ready for frigid temps.  Ready or not here they come.  Well, I'm not ready.  

I have a good life.  I really do.  Now I don't feel so overwhelmed. Thank Heavens for blogging and being able to whine just a teeny tiny bit.  

AND all God's people said, "AMEN."

d