I DON'T ALWAYS KNOW WHAT TO SAY OR FEEL ALL THE TIME

AFTER A CROSS COUNTRY MEET TOOK PLACE that we attended on Thursday, we headed to my Mom's and missed a turn off on the interstate meaning it would take much longer to arrive where were going to meet up with Mom and my Sister who is out visiting.

Mom went to bed shortly after we got there.   My Sister and I stayed up talking till 2:30 or so. Woke early.  Hubby left early to return home to meet up with our Insurance Agent for making changes in our property insurance policies.

I stayed with the girls, eating LUNCH together then shopping at the Hospital Auxiliary which I love doing.  I purchased a heavy cotton L.L. Bean sweater for $4.00.  Tis red and will be nice to wear as cold weather blows in.  I was disciplined and kept my spending to a limit.  I felt good about it.  

My diet was challenged as I ate what my Mother fixed.  So I ate small portions and no sweets. Eating instant oatmeal for two breakfasts with a small amount of milk and sipping apple juice was my plan.  I ate slowly during lunch with chicken pot pie knowing the pie is highly processed in which I try to avoid this.  I will return to my new regular eating when I returned HOME.  I drank bottle water and not tap.  

It isn't right to tell my Mom I can't eat the food she has provided when it is what she offered.  I'll do what I can and go on from here concerning diet.

Mostly a very nice visit with my family, but my allergies flared up while there.  Between the small undusted apartment and dog dander, blisters showed up on my eyeball and upper respiratory issues happened.

I did go for a short walk one morning walking quite a ways working up a sweat.  Afternoon television was on THE GAME SHOWS station.  Falling asleep on the sofa for a much needed nap, Hubby came to take me HOME.

Stormy weather was in the clouds as we traveled.  We stopped off at the COTTAGE to drop off some topsoil for the flowerbed.  As we were leaving to go HOME, a ugly storm blew in.  We waited out the storm at my Daughter's home.  Played with the youngest Grandson for a bit.  He is a bundle of energy, but he did play with me and blew me some kisses when we left.  Sweet.  

Heading HOME, I knew I was tired.  Will unpack my traveling things later.  Hubby fixed a meaty chili for supper.  I will fill up on it. Plans for the rest of the week-end is to tape some packing boxes in the Living room and write on them what's inside.  Will shuffle the boxes later.  Going to work in flowerbeds and make headway toward having this completed.  

Sometimes LIFE is difficult.  I don't always know what to say or know how I'm suppose to feel all the time.  Remaining silent sometimes is the best policy when around others, but if they are manipulative, toxic or other strong personality type, they may railroad over you altogether even when silent.    

I've learned that LIFE can be very challenging within the family dynamics at times.  I have to listen to what is being said and then process the information shared.  I may be at the processing a long while thinking in depth.  I am human and not a robot.  

I know this, when a couple has had an ongoing problem for 50 plus years, there probably will not be a quick fix to correct the problem.  I can listen, but I mustn't get suck into the drama.  The fixing has to come from the people involved in the problem in which they need godly counsel.  If they choose to ignore it then that's the way it is.  There are consequences to our actions.  Always.

CONCERNING A DIFFICULT SITUATION.  I do know that if you are hitting a dead horse with the same stick you always use thinking this time the horse will get up, you are lying to yourself. Delusional thinking.  Stuck in a rut thinking.  Time to haul the dead horse to the glue factory.  In other words, the dead horse is the awful situation you are dealing with and the stick is the way you are dealing with the situation.  No matter how many times you beat the horse to get up to behave differently, it is still dead and beyond responding to you.  Take the stick and break it.  It isn't working nor will it ever.    

Take ownership of the mess you're in and figure out a way to clean up the mess THEN actually clean up the mess before it's too late and you're stuck in a rut of constant complaining. Repeating the same ugly habits isn't productive.  It's destructive.  Can we become ADDICTED to complaining without creating a workable solution?  Yes, I know we can.  Is constantly complaining a habit that can be broken?  Yes, I believe it can be.  So what should someone do?

It helps if the one that needs to overcome a bad habit whether it is the one causing the problem or the one married to the problem maker, realizes that they have a bad habit that needs crucified and actually crucifies it.  Telling another person that they are needing help might be a start.  Can it be done diplomatically?  Yes, it can.

If you are on the listening end of things then it's important to be a good listener and not allow yourself to get sucked into the drama or get overly emotionally involved, because you cannot do the changing that needs done by the one doing a core dump.  Also some people just enjoy the attention of being the center of attention while core dumping on you.  They have no intention of changing.  They just want to sound off or rant then they return to the situation that has not been resolved.  Like a dog returning to its vomit.  

In my marriage we have had a multitude of issues that had to be worked out.  It was very difficult to deal with.  I realized one day that the technique I was using to get my Husband's attention was not working.  I thought of this situation as a dead horse that wasn't getting up when I hit it with the same old stick over and over again.  The dead horse was taken to the glue factory.  Got a different horse.  This time, the horse seems healthy.  

~d