CHANGE OF PLANS

WINTER HAS RETURNED as the winds blow wildly into town with chilly temps taking a nose drive.  POSSIBLY SNOW today.  I was prepared for the cooler weather as we have been watching the forecast.  My plans were changed for me as I planned to go the COTTAGE to work on laundry finishing it up.  Not quite done. Instead I'm staying HOME to work and rest. I'll take the change of plans and do something with it.

Tonite the winds are howling which can be heard   through the walls and windows of our old house.  It surely will be calmer in the morning.  Sipping HOT chocolate and resting in my chair.  

Morning came early as I stood at the sink polishing a beautiful teapot purchased last week at the Thrift Store in the town where my Mom lives.  I didn't see the three metal pots on a bottom shelf as my dear Hubby spied them and led me to them.  I was hooked.  Such pretty shapes and scroll work on the exterior.  I placed them in my shopping cart saying you're coming HOME with me. Fantastic price for such metalware.  

Etched on the bottom of the pots were the words HAND CHASED.  I had to look up what HAND CHASED meant as I hadn't heard of this term before.  The other two pots will get polished shortly.  The Tea Pot cleaned up beautifully.  Beautifully.

HAND CHASED, ENGLISH DESIGN, SHEFFIELD REPRODUCTION. 

My Teapot Collection has grown.  I believe it shall be what I collect while I live in THE COTTAGE.  I'll need a shelf above the kitchen sink to display my pretties. Teapots, antique platters, dolls, hats, books, brooches.  I like my THANGS.  Although I have downsized my treasures, I still LIKE THEM.

Yesterday while doing the laundry, my plans changed when I told my Husband I'd like to see the movie, JESUS REVOLUTION.  We'd talked about going to see it then changed our minds. Once again, I said I'd like to see it.  After checking the times, he realized that this was the last night to see the movie on the big screen.  We closed up shop and quickly made our way HOME to clean up to go to the movie. Made it in time to order supper and get a seat.

The theatre was basically empty like it was when we saw Elvis last Summer.  We went to the Marysville Theatre on a date in February to see, A MAN CALLED OTTO. At this rate, we'll be a twice a year patron.    

I seldom go to the theatre anymore.  Last Summer, I went to see Elvis and came HOME with c o v i d.  There was only a few peeps in the theatre that day.  We had ordered a meal and the way it went we didn't get our meals.  One thing led to another with the manager apologizing with the meals and two complimentary movie tickets.  We used these tickets to see JESUS REVOLUTION.  

With the price of tickets these days and simply buying popcorn...can break the bank. Competition is stiff with large screen televisions at HOME plus pause buttons to allow for potty breaks and snacks.  Viewing movies at HOME is more relaxed then dressing up to go to the theatre although getting dressed up to go out is something I like to do once a year.   

The quality of subject matter is very limited compared to what Hollywood pumps out as wholesome movies.  There's not much to choose from anymore.

If a person can simply look at this movie for entertainment purposes then the cold hard facts do not have to come to light, but knowing me I usually do some research behind the scenes and I found out much.

Overall, it was a fairly good movie portraying a era in California where so many were looking for something solid to believe in and make LIFE better.     

This movie is based on a true story, but it isn't a documentary.  There was a great deal about the movie I enjoyed, such as when Greg was baptized in the ocean with his body staying suspended deep into the water for a lengthier amount of time then usual then coming up for air.  The scenes portraying the kids in drug induced moments where physical sounds seem far off in a barrel and everything is funny had a rather real feeling to it.  Wanting something more than a drug induced life becomes apparent and a story is told.  

But if one does their homework comparing the story line with actual life and how things transpired, you will learn so much additional info, it might take the positive out of the movie.  Lonnie was a heavy drug user and involved in a underground homosexual commune at an early age before becoming a Christian.

He would pass away from the AIDS virus at 43.  He may have been raped and exposed to AIDS in his later years, I'm not sure.  

Have you ever known someone who was brilliant and did things the average person hadn't and somebody else wanted to take the credit for what this brilliant person had done, so the other person arranged for the brilliant person to quietly disappear allowing the credit to be given to the one who didn't do it?  Or they spread rumors that weren't true about the brilliant person so the majority of others believe the lies over the truth?

Did this happen to Lonnie?  Was he swept under the rug or thrown under the bus as some people would say, so he disappeared into the sunset never to be heard from again?  Did some one want the credit for what Lonnie accomplished and boldly took the credit knowing Lonnie was out of sight, out of mind?  It's a mystery that God knows all about.  

Because I'm an old woman now and had my eyes opened, I look at things differently than I use to.  I ask questions and don't always take everything as it is presented knowing that there are agendas behind how things are promoted.  Being a PI has helped clarify much in this fallen world where wolves wear sheep's clothing in the religious realm.  Sad, but true.  There is always more to a story than what some want you to think.  Greg Laurie has a calling card with this movie.  Greg's net worth is now about $20 million dollars.  That's a lot of mula.  

JESUS REVOLUTION.  I was a budding teenager when this was taking place in the late 60s and I really didn't understand all of it.  I lived in the midwest and the JESUS FREAK STUFF didn't happened in our HOME until 1970 when my older College aged brother came back from school THANKSGIVING 1969 wearing long hair.  Along with the hair came an attitude.  He'd gotten a taste of living away from HOME studying ART at Wichita State University and fit the part as he had gotten involved in a religious cult called THE WAY which wasn't the way of God at all, but took many teens to hell.  They promoted the use of illegal drugs to heighten the senses.  At least that's what conclusion I came to when it came to my brother.

David was left to his own demise.  Looking back as I have pieced together what I believe went wrong, he was like a kid in a candy store after leaving HOME without much guidance as what to do with his LIFE.  I think my siblings and I were given quite a bit of leeway when growing up and it wasn't for the best.  It troubles me at times that I was not given much counsel about how to grow up and become an adult. My mother left home when she was 12 years old and married at 16 starting her own HOME with my dad who came from a household where his dad was a raging alcoholic.  I had a pretty happy childhood where I was allowed to be a child during my childhood.  It would be later in life that I wish that my folks had given more counsel.  

There was a sort of freedom to pick and choose what we wanted to do in our LIVES, but I understand that we should have had more guidance to prepare us for living in a world that will chew you up and spit you out of its mouth.  What one should look for in a spouse was never discussed.  We were just expected to know by observation.  Where were the words to instruct us?  If I picked up on anything from my parents, it would have been that they were kind to one another, honest and were hard workers.  I felt protected as a child and home was a safe haven that was clean and orderly.  I never went hungry or wore rags.  I was never verbally or physically abused.    

SO much of what I learned about LIFE was by first hand experiences when I should have been given more verbal instruction.  Actual words spoken over me.  I wasn't overly sheltered, but in many ways I was and so was my brother David.  The Public School System and peers gave plenty of insight into how to live a life.  I was like a sponge soaking up junk that I shouldn't be absorbing.  Wide eyed and bushy tailed, I observed much.  

David experimented with hard drugs one time too many and it did a horrible thing to his health.  It broke him and horrible mental health issues would be dealt with the rest of his life.  I do not believe that all of my brother's mental issues were from his DNA.  He exasperated the demons that came along with the use of psychotic drugs.  The representative drugs that can cause psychosis are amphetamine, scopolamine, ketamine, phencyclidine (PCP), and lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD).

He had admitted to me later that he had taken drugs like LSD.  His mental and emotional health were seriously affected by his drug use and the overall affect to his mind caused serious anxiety to the entire family.  When a child with horrific mental issues is the center of so much attention, it can seriously affect the other family members.  It did me.  I had to grow to the point in adulthood that I openly admitted that no one person in this world should have so much power over me.  This was a turning point in LIFE, but I still had to be so diplomatic when around my brother.  It was not a relaxed atmosphere when I was near him.  As badly as I wanted it to be, it was not so.

The JESUS FREAK in our HOME came the next year around Easter when my sister was planning her wedding, my dear brother was brought HOME by my parents after one of his house mates telephoned my folks to let them know that they had better come get David as he had spent the last three days in the corner of his bedroom curled up in a ball barking like a dog.  He was broken.  

Through the years, David had many struggles and I sometimes did not know what to think of it.  I never knew what mood David was going to be in when around him so I sometimes felt like I had to walk on eggs when around him.  He received special treatment from my parents as he grew older which caused some mixed feelings.  I confess, I wasn't always compassionate with the situation that was going on. 

I'm a firm believer that certain drugs do great harm when taken.  Marijuana is no exception.  Some things should not be used by humans.  If it were popular to eat rat poison, some would do so.  I have my questions as to what Lonnie Frisbee saw when he had visions which happened when he used LSD.  Not a good thing at all.  

The JESUS REVOLUTION movie has basically three main characters, Chuck Smith, Lonnie Frisbee and Greg Laurie and is designed to show you how these lives became entwined with one another in a religious movement that supposedly sweep the country in the late 1960s.

My brother's struggles and downfall changed me.  I never had the urge to do illegal drugs.  I suppose this is one reason I'm not so big on taking bunches of medicine even if they are legal.  The pain I saw from his drug use contributed to me living a cleaner life, not that I don't have flaws.  We all have flaws and our plans can change.

Change of plans.       

Back to polishing my teapots and praising God for my HOME, Husband, family, income, health and His precious salvation.

~d

OFF TO A DECENT START

OFF TO A DECENT START FOR TUESDAY.  Had fried eggs and bacon for Breakfast with water to drink.  I'll attempt to eat better today after the cookies I ate yesterday.  Not sure if it was the chocolate I was craving or the crunchy cookie part of these cookies I bought from ALDI, but I over did it and knew I had.

Then while watching the PBS television program, CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL, I got into a small box of crispy crackers that had cranberries baked into them and couldn't stop eating them as they had a taste to them that reminded me of slightly burnt oatmeal and raisin cookies from my childhood.  

I was the Oatmeal with Raisin Cookie CHEF while my sis made the AWARD WINNING Chocolate Chip Cookies.  Sometimes my cookies over baked that were slightly burnt cookies with dark undersides.  We didn't pitch them.  We still ate them over baked and all.

Was I craving a sweet memory of my childhood or was there something in the crackers that my body needed?  Chocolate is magnesium.  Cranberries? Vitamin C? 

CRAVINGS:  Does craving chocolate mean you need magnesium?  Yes, high amounts of chocolate cravings are a sign of magnesium deficiency. Magnesium regulates glucose (blood sugar) and insulin levels (helps the body use and store glucose), as well as the neurotransmitter dopamine.

Cranberries are a rich source of several vitamins and minerals, especially vitamin C.

• Vitamin C. Also known as ascorbic acid, vitamin C is one of the predominant antioxidants in cranberries. It is essential for the maintenance of your skin, muscles, and bone.
• Manganese. Found in most foods, manganese is essential for growth, metabolism, and your body’s antioxidant system.
• Vitamin E. A class of essential fat-soluble antioxidants.
• Vitamin K1. Also known as phylloquinone, vitamin K1 is essential for blood clotting.
• Copper. A trace element, often low in the Western diet. Inadequate copper intake may have adverse effects on heart health.Trusted Source

ANYWHO...off to a good start.  Plans for the day?  LAUNDRY!  and lots of it.  I'll work at getting caught up.  In between loads I'll be cleaning the Kitchen cabinets and loading things into them.  One day closer to being moved into this tiny place.

As I drive the distance across the Flint Hills to my COTTAGE, I will take in the nature of the Kansas landscape in the Flint Hills.  Perhaps someday, I will have a view from the Kitchen window of the gentle hills of the Flint Hills staring back at me.  NATURE and only nature with the changing seasons all over it.

Off I go.
~d

THE WEEK AHEAD OF ME

Planning for the day and week takes little effort...it's the actual doing that is difficult.  I'm back to sleeping well at night.  Waking early and working long days.  Hubby and I both are so busy.  We're eating well, sleeping well, staying active.  Lord willing after we get moved into the COTTAGE and the main house has sold, I want to have a schedule that includes walking the community, eating well, spending time reading, writing and being a Godly HOMEMAKER and mate.  For now, my exercise involves packing boxes, lifting and carrying heavy boxes, motion in the activities.  

Getting started in the mornings is where I plan out my day and attempt to stay on target getting done what needs done. 

THIS FINE MONDAY MORNING, I got around and went to TOWN with my Daughter, Grand-daughter Lil Miss and Grandson Baby C.  They came by the house to get me.  Wearing a WINTER SWEATER, blue jeans and comfy shoes, I was ready.  Started the day out with a STARBUCKS drink, my treat.  I got my regular, Trenta Unsweetened Iced Green Tea.  The kind that last me on the average of four hours when sipping.

We stopped at the Mall and went to ULTA BEAUTY.  As soon as I crossed the threshold of ULTA BEAUTY, some perfume caught my attention.  I sprayed some on me and I was sold.  I offered to take the Lil guy out in the Mall so Daughter could shop with Lil Miss.  Getting ready for PROM.  

I had the BEST time with Mister C.  At 16 months old, he held my hand as we walked from one end of the Mall to the other.  When we got back to ULTA BEAUTY, his Momma and big Sis were done shopping there.  We went to a few more shops and looked.  I was impressed how well Mister C behaved.  They have a fountain so we tossed a few coins into the fountain.  

LUNCH in AGGIE VILLE at BLUESTEM.   I was treated to a Turkey Paleo Salad.  I'd do it again.  

Description:  spring mix topped with oven roasted turkey, dried cranberries, almonds, diced fresh apple and balsamic dressing (contains nuts).

As we were sitting there, the balsamic vinaigrette Dressing went down my throat the wrong way causing me to cough and cough and cough to the point of it being embarrassing.  I couldn't seem to stop.  Mister C started imitating me doing a fake cough.  Got tickled and started laughing.  We all do.  This was one of those moments you had to be there.  He is a little monkey that imitates what he sees.  It was so funny, I could only laugh about it.

Got the coughing under control.  

THEN, we headed to the RUNNING COMPANY.  I stayed in the truck as Mister C took a nap.  I decided to cover him with a blanket and because I moved, the truck alarm went off beeping.  I wasn't sure why the beeping was going off and then it stopped where the blinker decided to flash and the alarm began again.  

Is the truck HAUNTED?  The phone rang and it was Lil Miss asking if the alarm went off?  Yes, it had.  Daughter explained that when she locks the doors, the alarm is set and if the truck has movement, it sounds off.  Haha.  It did go off.  

When they returned to the truck, Mister C was still asleep.  We went to GOODWILL and I left empty handed.  Off to Aldi.  I knew I needed milk and ended with yogurt, milk, orange juice, cheese sticks, cookies, a pound of hamburger, bread and the kitchen sink.  Not really, but I spent a little bit of mula.

THOUGH the weather was a chilly 38 degrees, we had a great time.  I'm ready for SPRING where the temps are in the 70s.  Wish it were here to stay.  This has been a LONG WINTER.  ugg.   

HOME I went.  Said good-bye to the kids and put the groceries away.  Now to take a break and close my eyes for a minute or so.  A blessed MONDAY.  Good company and got some exercise walking for the day.  Ate well.  Felt good.

Back to packing drinking glasses and plates.  This is the week to get pots 'n pans, plates and glassware over to the COTTAGE.  Hubby is laying tile and we're off to a great start.  Lil Miss will come over during the week to our main house to rake leaves to bag up so they can be hauled to the dump.  

Sunday, Monday.  Tuesday...I'd like to work on some laundry, unpack some dishes and cookware.  I hope I can pull it off.  The days are getting away from me.  

Think I'll fix a pasta dish for supper if we have any pasta in the pantry.  I have a pound of hamburger that I will brown in olive oil and diced onions.  After it browns, I'll add some stewed tomatoes. In a different pan I'll cook some pasta and when it is done, I'll drain the pasta and add the meat sauce.  Hope I have some pasta.  This sounds like a simple supper to fix and enjoy.  As tired as I am, this should work.

MAIL:  A notice from small town America's Utility Company about a water sample not being taken for testing back in April 2020.  We were not drinking the water at the Cottage at this time so we missed the warning that has come to our attention in 2023!  That seems like a joke.  2 years later and oh, by the way, we, the city have messed up.  Not important to be concerned, but if you are, call your doctor.  

This is alarming to say the least.  We will be using our BERKEY when we move over to the COTTAGE.  I think since I have lived in the area, this is the second notice to be brought to our attention in 16 years.  The quality of our water DOES MATTER.     

FAMILY GATHERINGS:  After I had time to process the week-end funeral I attended, it finally soaked in what I was sensing, but couldn't put into words.  The word I was looking for was "A DISCONNECT."  Is it the age we live in with cell phones having such attention given to them that people do not know how to have a simple conversation these days?  There's a disconnect between people.  We're in the same room, but there isn't acknowledgment that family members know one another or that they care to know one another.  We are all aging.  Perhaps minds are slipping.  Perhaps, they really don't want to visit.  Perhaps. 

When at the Fellowship Hall of the Church where my Aunt went to Church, family members and friends gathered for a meal.  A disconnect of sorts happened.     

I can say, "Hello!"  They'd answer, but no eye contact.  No interest in visiting.  I miss my cousin, Denice.  We always visited.  Always.  I don't need to be the center of attention, but still visiting would have been welcomed.  

I realized that the Family dynamics changed.  It is the end of an era.  

Times are a changing and I have noticed.  
Blessings,

~d

TIME CHANGE

IT JUST SEEMS LIKE WE CHANGED THE TIME and here we are doing it again.  FALL BACK...SPRING FORWARD.  Have to remind myself.  I had completely forgotten that it was that time.  It'll be nice to have that extra sunlight in the evening.  

As we drove HOME from my AUNT's FUNERAL, I could see the green tints in the trees.  Spring.  What a wonderful sight to see.  When I travel, I'd like to simply pull over at a road side park and sit for a bit to absorb the scenery as I cannot possibly see all there is to see while traveling 75 miles an hour.  

We traveled both on Friday and Saturday to go to my Aunt's Viewing on Friday and to attend her funeral on Saturday.  Spent the night at my Mom's.  Aunt Pearl had lost quite a bit of weight since I saw her last.  Her son said she lost it by starving.  She wasn't eating while having so many health issues.  Even though I saw some cousins, we didn't visit very much and I came to the realization that our family gatherings where we get together for Thanksgiving Dinner and the 4th of July stopped after CO vid and haven't started back up.  I don't think they ever will.

One by one, my Aunts and Uncles have died.  Pearl was my last living Aunt on my Dad's side of the family.  Seems odd.  Only memories, some photographs and some cousins that still remain in the area is what is left from the rather large German family I grew up amongst.  Seems so odd.  

I've gone to these family gatherings since I was born.  To have them stop makes me face the reality that this has come to an end.  A thing of the past that I'm sorry to see go. 

We drove around in the community as I go down memory lane.  SO much has changed.  Only a few vivid memories.  Snap Dragons, Irises, apple trees and this small town trigger sweet memories of when I was a child.  Grandma's delicious food, and conversations are in my thoughts.  We got older along the way.  I am now the old one.

Like the time change, times are constantly changing.  Situations change which changes us.  The younger family members and the citizens of the world have their own sense of style and mannerisms.  Changing cultures right before me.  

I said my GOOD-BYES to Aunt Pearl. 

~d 

10 DAYS AND COUNTING

 PRAISE THE LORD!!!!  
Ten days until the calendar reads SPRING.  
I am so ready I can taste it.  

The count down is on.  Blast off on the 20th of March.  AWESOME to think about as I was beginning to think SPRING would never come.  

This has been such a long WINTER to me.

These next 10 days I will be busy packing all of our things as I hope to have it all boxed up by the start of SPRING.  Have mercy.  I have much to do.

How does your SPRING look?

~d

POT ROAST IS ON

THE AROMA IN THE HOUSE SMELLS DELICIOUS.  Pot Roast is cooking in the Crock Pot.  I started preparing it about 10:30 this morning by pouring Extra Virgin Olive Oil in the Crock Pot.  Covering the bottom of the pot with EVOO is where it starts.  A TBSP. of minced garlic and sliced white onion were mixed together in the olive oil.  In goes the hunk of pot roast.  I let it cook for an hour then flipped the meat over adding 2 bottles of Spring Water.  The lid goes on.  Another hour passes before adding the veggies.  Organic celery.  The stalks went in whole after the ends were cut off.  Then Baby Carrots.

I sat while peeling the potatoes to save my back.  The potatoes were rinsed, peeled and sliced.  In they went.  Some salt.  Forgot the pepper.  It will cook all afternoon and be ready by 6.  Hubby went to work on the Bathroom floor laying gray tile.  I hope he gets to where he wants after working on it all day.  He's looking forward to having POT ROAST for SUPPER.  So am I.  Ketch-up will top my dish.  I am a KETCH-UP freak.  Such a fan, I cannot even begin to tell you how much I LOVE IT.  Better than Football.  Better than chocolate.

My day has been a restful one as I need these after a full day of being out and about.  Stay busy one day, rest the next.

Going through a fresh pile of loose papers.  Stapling articles together concerning health issues.  Into a box they go until I have moved and can file them in specific folders according to their subject matter.  Packed more everyday white dishes.  I have it pretty well figured where my Kitchen things will rest once they get over there.  

No Breakfast this morning as we ate a large salad with boiled eggs for protein and some chopped walnuts for BRUNCH.  It's important to get protein for a healthy body.  

~d  

     

OKAY

TAKING A DEEP BREATH on this dreary, gray day where our spirits are still flying high.  Popcorn for SUPPER TONIGHT as we are too tired for a REAL MEAL.  Planning on watching a movie like THE WITNESS.  I remember watching this for this first time when we lived in OMAHA in 1985.  I was very interested in the Amish and this movie helped set a mood.

I still am interested in different cultures with the Amish being one of them.  Just today at JoAnn's was a young Amish Mother tending to her baby with the Grandmother helping her while shopping.  I see quite a few Amish women in Topeka as there is a Amish Community not far from there.    

We spent the day in TOPEKA where my Husband had three medical appointments squeezing in a quick look around JoAnn's, GOD'S STOREHOUSE, LUNCH at Jason's Deli, TARGET and SAM's.  Before heading out of town we had a frozen custard.

Jason's Deli has a rather large salad bar, so I tried this today.  Started with a lettuce and spinach base, added a few cucumber slices, boiled eggs, small beets, red grapes, zucchini slices, cranberries with walnuts, sunflower seeds, humus, corn salsa, cottage cheese, shredded cheese, peppers, red onion, olives, balsamic vinaigrette, small chocolate muffins.  I had a plate full.  Very filling.  If I do this again, I'll start with the base and add the salad dressing first then add the rest of the veggies.  

Drove to the COTTAGE to unload some spices from the main house that I had in the backseat of the car.  Made for a full day.  Hubby and I dozed off in the living room for about a half hour which helped to refresh me so I could drive HOME before dark.  We had popcorn for supper.

Visited with Mom on the telephone, did some paperwork and called it a day.

As my eyes are heavy, I'm thinking about our plans for Thursday.  Hubby wants to finish tiling the bathroom floor.  Pretty sure he'll be successful.  Grouting will take place this week-end.  I'll work on the Kitchen and do a few loads of laundry.  Think I'll start a pot roast for supper in the morning so it can cook most of the day.  While the crock pot does the work, I'll wrap 'n pack drinking glasses and more plates.  If I can pull it off, I'll make a drive over to the COTTAGE and put cookware away.

The sooner the boxes are out of the Kitchen, the better.  Pots 'n pans will go next and daily plates with glassware.  

~d

MANAGING TO MORPH AS I PACK

THIS MOVE IS ALL TOGETHER DIFFERENT THAN ANY I HAVE BEEN THROUGH IN MY 48 YEARS OF MARRIAGE.  Each one has been different.  Never easy, but doable.  Lightening the load this time has entanglements with emotions I didn't know I had an abundance of until now.  

Yesterday when the washing machine flooded the Kitchen floor, I came undone.  The nice, new, clean moving boxes that were filled with Kitchen items that were sitting on the floor were soaking up laundry water as I came undone.  I went upstairs to grab old bedding like old bedspreads and comforters to use to mop up the excessive amount of water on the floor.  The bedding soaks up the water faster and more efficiently than towels.  Laying them on the floor, I began to move the boxes out onto the Kitchen porch.  Hubby came into the Kitchen and began to help me.  MY HERO.

I wasn't in a GOOD MOOD as I got somewhat angry that this little jewel of a washing machine decided to allow the drain hose to flop out of the sink and drain the water onto the floor.  I had the machine's wheels locked securely and the drain hose in its proper place.  This didn't matter. She flopped out of the sink and drained onto the floor.

It's one thing to have this happen without boxes taking up residence and quite another when the Kitchen is without boxes sitting about.  Usually I don't think I would have popped a cork, but being overtired and having worked on packing boxes for a couple of months made it a different story.  I popped.  I came undone.  

Got the mess all cleaned up and took a drive so I could have a good hard cry.  I drove to the local cemetery where it is quiet and uncrowded to where I could talk to GOD out loud about what is going on THEN I drove on over to the COTTAGE to work.  I began to feel better as I drove. While I was at the cemetery, I saw a friend's tombstone with her husband's death date on it indicating when she lost her husband to cancer he was only 62 years old making her 57 at the time.  She's now getting ready to have her 93rd birthday in April.  I thought for a moment how it must have felt for her to become a widow in her 50s.  I'm 67 and I'm having issues with being nearly 70 and my Husband and I still have struggles.  I'd like to think that if I were widowed that I would be able to carry on and not completely fall to pieces not being able to get on with LIFE. If I pass before my Husband, I would hope that I wouldn't leave behind a complete mess for him not knowing which end is up or down.  Pause.  I have to get on with LIFE while I'm in the land of the living.  Amen.  A flood in the Kitchen cannot destroy me or cause such upset.  Amen.  Carry on.     

I washed more depression glassware.  Dried some laundry.  Sat and thought a lot.  I'll continue with this move as best I can, but after yesterday it took some doing to not give up as I felt that I could not go on.  We've been pushing ourselves pretty hard for close to ten months working on clearing out the shed, remodeling it, shredding old papers till I could cry, getting rid of big pieces of furniture that were hard to move, making plans for improvements, packing, turning loose of THINGS, etc.  

Having to shuffle things about in the COTTAGE has been a hard thing to do as the COTTAGE is small and whenever things have to be stacked, then shuffled from place to place, I not only get physically tired, but my brain gets tired as well.  As old as I am, I have to pace myself differently then when I was much younger.  Kind of like when the children were younger, I had to do things at a different pace then when there were no children or when they got older. 

As I think on past moves, I regret not explaining better to my children what was going to happen and comforting them more than having a gung-ho attitude without complaints.  However, I do remember one move when I took a spatula to the wooden Kitchen cabinets out of complete frustration.  I started hitting the cabinet door repeatedly growling and crying.  We had left an extremely nice house in Texas to move into a rental that you could feel bounce when a tiny 10 pound dog pranced across the floor.  The Kitchen did not have the cabinet space like what I had grown accustomed to and when I couldn't get one of my cooking pans out of the lower cabinet, all the frustration and hurt from this move came out.

It must have been a sight of complete immaturity verses being a grown woman that had her act together, cool and collective in which amplified motherly leadership that knew exactly what to do when it came to relocating over umpteen miles with no money to spare. 

My son saw me having this fit and stared at me as if I had grown horns.  I had a few episodes where I probably had horns instead of a halo.  This particular move came after my marriage was on the rocks and we were working at patching it back together when we had gone off the deep end of being exposed to a spiritual cult that we willingly entertained to ease the pain of a wounded marriage.  Then when my Husband's employment came to an end where there was no income, we had to sell our very nice 4 bedroom house with a walk-in Kitchen pantry, jacuzzis tub in the master bathroom, walk-in bedroom closets for all, dining room, formal living room and huge family room.  It caused some sadness and irritation wondering when if ever we'd be in such a nice house again as we were living off the equity we had made off the house.  Here we were in a two bedroom house where the house shook when a tiny pet went across the floor.

My children had witnessed their parents going through marital pain on the verge of divorce, been uprooted from their friends, school and church.  I felt like I couldn't go on at times and would have to take the car for drives in the country to get away to cry.  I could sit inside my parked car and boo-hoo until I gained some composure returning to the daily grind of LIFE.  We had a very tight budget and there were financial challenges that hurt and caused additional heartache.  Very taxing.  A heavy load to carry.  Much praying went on which was a faith builder.  

Hubby found employment in Wichita which was an hour drive one way each day for him, I worked two part time jobs then got on as a Teacher's Aide.  We managed to squeak by, pay our expenses and the children got to experience small town living which I found stressful as I felt like I was under a magnifying glass.  

I went to work at one place that I would learn that the owner greatly disliked my parents, and my Dad's siblings.  The town was full of my Dad's relatives.  I didn't stay with this job long after some of the tactics the owner did.  It was for the best to leave when I did and I regretted that I ever went to work there in the first place.  The owner tried very hard to make it look like she was doing me a favor for allowing me to work a couple days a week at her store when on the back burner she would do things to make me look like I was not competent to do the work that was required of me.  Setting snares.  I learned the hard way that her Christian duty that she was exhibiting wasn't really very Christian, but that she was on an agenda to betray one of the family members of a local tribe that irritated her.  I had no clue that she felt so deeply about some of my family members until I worked for her and she'd share her animosity with me.  I'd learn that she had hatred toward others that were related to me as if I had control over these family members.  I had wondered if she thought I would go to these family members and tell them what she had said in hopes of getting into some kind of a fight.  It never happened as I didn't share with them what she said.  She'd have to use her tactics elsewhere and I'm sure she shared with others what she thought of me.

From her actions, I'd learn more about the fallen nature of mankind.  I should be grateful to become better educated in the world arena, but I wasn't.    

This time was not without challenges and I believe it was for the best to not remain living in this community.  Although if I were to return, it would be without very many living relatives there as the majority of my relatives have died.   It is no longer infested with my Dad's siblings and their families.  It has become a different community altogether.  I still love going to this small community.  I love this place in the world.

My Mother still lives there with many good friends.  She knows challenges from owning a business in this small town years ago that my Dad grew up in and she spent a few years there as a teenager living with an older sister in which she met my Dad and fell in love before returning to live there 50 years ago.  As a child, whenever our family went to visit my Grandma, I always had a great time with family.  Super memories.  This small town has so many wonderful memories for me.  The challenging obstacles do not over power the good memories.  It seems like HOME much of the time.  My Husband and I got married there.  

So I visited this town through the years in my mother's womb and growing into a young adult, lived there the Summer that I got married when I turned 19, and returned as a 36 year old to live with a husband and three children in a small rental that shook when the family pet went across the floor.  

The rent was reasonable.  This is what we needed as we were living off of our small savings, but the small house was a fixer upper in which I was expected to fix up since it was owned by an Aunt and Uncle that had agreed to let us rent from them.  They supplied the materials and we supplied the labor.  I wall papered the living room, the kitchen/dining area, the utility room, two bedrooms.  We did some remodeling in it that I don't think renters should have to do as the renters are suppose to have the luxury of having landlords do the fixing.  SO I did rent at a decent price and the landlords did not have to pay for the labor fixing up their place.  I was already exhausted from marital problems, financial issues, leaving the life I had behind to living in this small town where I felt like I was under a magnifying glass which added to the stress of having gone from a beautiful four bedroom brick house in Texas to a small clapboard two bedroom house that was water damaged.

Now I count my blessings as I look backwards to the past, I had a roof over my head where my family was altogether.  We stayed as a family unit.  No divorce.   

After we left here to where my Husband started employment in Tulsa in 1995, we were financially strapped from the serious cut in pay when we moved from Texas to Kansas still paying debt that we carried with us.  He was working extremely long hours and I stayed home with the kids.  We worked on this rental house as well.  

When we went looking for a place to live, we started out in a apartment building until a place in Jenks, Oklahoma proper came along.  The rent was low enough, but this house was in awful shape.  Some of the Kitchen drawers were nailed shut and the fronts of the Kitchen cabinets had paper for their door fronts.  White paper.  When I cleaned the cabinets...the remains of cock roaches were sickening.  It truly was a cock roach infested HOTEL.  When I went to the City Building to get the utilities switched to our name, the clerk told me that this house had water problems.  The toilet leaked under the house where the smell of raw sewage was apparent.  Getting the Landlord to fix this was not a pleasant thing.  Hubby took care of this. Thankfully.    

The Landlords were what my Dad called Slum Lords and I'd come to agree with him.  We stayed for three years, fixing the house's interior up as best we could to make it livable.  After we left, the house was far better than when we moved there.  A nightmare of an embarrassment to live in. My pride suffered so.  A half a block from this house were some structures that looked like hillbilly shacks.  They were a disgusting eye sore.  Trying to pretend that I was a cheerful HOMEMAKER wasn't without issues.  

It would be here that our two boys would get an apartment together to grow up.  Our daughter would graduate from Jenks High School.  Our oldest son would go on to get married.  We'd end up moving to Manhattan, Kansas where we bought a fixer upper to fix up.  Our Son and Daughter would return to Tulsa on the eve of 2000 leaving me with a migraine.  Hubby and I were now empty nesters.  

Being financially strapped is not a holiday at all.  It's difficult to live this way.  I could say, I am a better person for having lived through this, but I cannot.  I have issues from going through this that are still being dealt with.  I have not completely become the person I wish I were.  Post-tramatic stress syndrome, maybe?  

Life does have issues that may stay with a person for a lifetime.  The growing pains are not vanishing as I thought they would.  I have to go on and that means I have to go on.  Counting my blessings must outweigh the hardships from the past.  Some days it's a battle to do this even with this time in my life having been so long ago.  

I have been blessed that my marriage did not end in a divorce.  That my children grew up and have families of their own.  That I was able to remain in the home as a HOMEMAKER.  I have never gone hungry, naked or without medical attention.  The financial debt isn't all gone, but I believe soon it will be.  I have learned how to do things on houses that I wouldn't have normally had to do if I had lived within houses that did not require remodeling.  

I have had to look upward instead of downward as there is no hope when focusing on the awful. I desire to be a better person because I have learned that this is what I want to be.  Having an attitude with a LIFETIME of heartache mustn't swallow me up.  There are times that I can tell a chemical reaction begins to take place and it becomes a very dark and deep place to climb out of. With time I can't say I have mastered this, but I am better at dealing with it when I sense the turmoil brewing.  I can tell it's coming on.  The ugly thoughts have been triggered.

Yes, there is heartache and sorrow in this LIFE, but God help me, I cannot have it be the domineering factor that rules me.  I want to have some wholesome happiness engulf me creating fond memories.

We have so much freedom that I want my freedom to be healthy and more carefree as a human being at 67.  I want to make godly choices that do not sting and cause injury.  

With each item I am packing, I handle with care.  I desire to not be overwhelmed with another move.  This one makes number 22 in 67 YEARS OF LIFE.  Twenty two moves.  Twenty TWO!  I still don't think this has soaked in.  Makes my heart sink.  There are challenges now like none I have ever experienced and I desire to discover a newness with this move at 67.  

The steps to morphing into the COTTAGE are not with out work and discipline.  I have to pace myself as I grow toward this new LIFE in a small COTTAGE that will require using elbow grease to get it all done.  My dear HUSBAND is a worker and a half.  Still I do not desire him to kill himself doing this labor that a younger man would struggle doing.  We are old now and it takes a toll on us in a different way.  We are moving slower when our logical minds tells us, you must stay the course to get where you are going.  There are still financial challenges that are needing to be dealt with.

I believe this is one reason, I have to work at a pace that is steady.  Yesterday, when the washing machine decided to flood the Kitchen floor, I needed a good cry to release some frustration. There'd be no relief by hitting the Kitchen cabinet with a spatula this time.  After I came to my senses, I proceeded to work on COTTAGE things.  The day ended with much done and tired bodies.  We have to take time to rest and play.  

I do believe I have experienced challenges that I wish were not so.  Oh Lord, I depend on you for strength.  I came across a small book of prayers which are beautifully written that I will use as a devotional.  Lifting up prayers to the most high God are where I must get my spiritual feed that will help me.  I do not care to be flying about the room or walking through walls.  I do believe that God will help us become better people that are real and not artificial.  Focusing on God is far better than focusing on tormenting thoughts that make one sad and forlorn. 

SO today, I will continue to pack boxes and take them over to the COTTAGE as my sweet Husband works on tiling the bathroom.  I will unpack the pots and pans today or at least work at it.  I packed some of my daily dishes this morning.  I might begin to take these over as we use disposable ones during this transitional period.  The small cabinets I do have are being filled with staples, cooking/baking items.  In the next few days, the drinking glasses and everyday dishes will sit in their new location.  The pots and pans will be present.  The bakeware as well.  I will be relieved when my new little Kitchen holds our things.

When the Bathroom is completed and the front of the COTTAGE leveled, we will physically begin to move large pieces of furniture in.  Knowing that THE COTTAGE will not be finished, I have to remind myself what work we are in the process of doing.  We are working at DOWNSIZING, getting out of debt and having a more carefree life living in a mortgage free house with no credit card debt.  A roof over our heads where we can prepare healthy meals and put our feet up in the evening to read, write, watch television, sew, draw, etc.  in a clean and orderly environment.  

As I manage to morph while packing, I am not in denial that LIFE has challenges.  I am going to pack and pray as I go.  I know others go through difficult trials and they do not air out their feelings.  Perhaps they handle their challenges better than the average bear or perhaps the pain doesn't paralyze them as badly as some.  Perhaps they are way stronger than me.

~d

FAUX DAFFODILS

TO BRIGHTEN UP THE FRONT PORCH, I planted bright yellow faux daffodils. Real ones are far prettier, but this will have to do.  I went on the hunt for faux tulips last week and none were to be found so I had to switch my direction going with daffs.  They were priced half off so that helped with the pocket book, but still they were not tulips.  Bright yellow makes for a cheery statement.  Not sure how they will weather.  Actual daffodils are starting to show in the area.  First signs of SPRING in MARCH.

YARD WORK is staring me in the face.  A little here and a little there just isn't enough to stay on top of the lawn.  

Needing to go check out my large box of faux flowers in the basement to see if I can add to the daffodils I planted in the urns.  If there isn't any flowers that will work then I may have to go purchase a few more faux flowers to fill in the urns. 

Waking early this morning, I started a load of laundry.  Tidying the kitchen countertops.  The Kitchen is crowded with moving boxes making it a tad bit of a challenge to move about freely. Today, I'll load some boxes up to take to the COTTAGE so I can continue filling the cabinets. Yesterday, I managed to load some boxes to take over.  Too heavy to carry with ease.  I managed, but it was difficult.  After I got over to the COTTAGE my dear husband helped carry them inside as he was already over there working on laying tile in the bathroom closet.

I filled the car with donation items in which I will take to GOODWILL this morning.  Yesterday I was too tired to do this after the day I had.  Tomorrow sounded like a better plan.  I'd like to get this out of the way early this Monday morning.

How does my day look?  Laundry worked on.  Thrift items dropped off.  Purchase some silver polish to polish champagne bucket that I use to hold large cooking utensils.  Polish it and pack it for the move.  Hair shampooed and air dried.  More laundry.  Load up the car with Kitchen items to go to the COTTAGE.  Paperwork.  Tidy on house.  Pack pantry items to go.  Fixed supper. Dishes washed.  REST.  That will more than likely be my MONDAY.    

ALERT:  SCRATCH TODAY's PLANS.  The miniature washing machine malfunctioned to where the water that is suppose to drain into the KITCHEN sink decided to empty itself all over the KITCHEN floor which is covered with packing boxes full of Kitchen items.  

Mopping up the water and vowing this is the last load to be washed in this house.  The machine can be wheeled out to the CARRIAGE HOUSE and left there.  I will start using the COTTAGE washer and dryer as of this day.  I'm done.  Since Co vid I have been using this small machine and as of today, it's retired.  No more mopping up the water it decides to pour onto the floor. The drain hose flopped out of the sink even though I had it secured.  I think of all days this is not a good day for a KITCHEN FLOOD.  Hello MONDAY.

TOUGHEN UP BUTTERCUP.  I had better not let this get to me.  After 8 weeks of having messes about me with packing going on, I popped a cork.  I'm sure my husband saw steam coming from my ears.   

So many times when I make plans they are challenged.  Go with the flow and stay flexible.  I'm human and have to adjust to not getting my way.  Did I say the faux daffodils looked cheery?  I had better go look at them again as I need some cheering up.

~d

STILL SMALL VOICE OF GOD

PRAISE THE LORD!!!  BEAUTIFUL SPRING LIKE DAY.  Knowing a head of time I wanted to get out in the 70 degree weather with blue skies and little wind I'll take a drive across the PRAIRIE and marvel at it's beauty.   I will load the car with things from the CARRIAGE HOUSE and drive them over to GOODWILL to donate.  I get the best sensation of goodwill in my soul when I donate to CHARITY/THRIFT.  Much given away and more to do.

This change of HEART with downsizing to fit into our small COTTAGE is like being a different person that finally morphed personalities for becoming a better person.  A cleansing of sorts.  A baptism of wholeness.  Turning loose of things that needed turned loose of is like getting in the water.  The water is fine!!!  The fear factor lowers it's head as I stomp on it.

Makes sense.

THEN I'll  return HOME to collect a few boxes of KITCHEN STAPLES and drive them across the river to the COTTAGE to load some cabinets.  I'll polish the sink cabinets and admire the wood how nice it shines.  THEN I'll load some more things from the COTTAGE to donate to charity and depending on how tired I am, I'll either drive these donations to GOODWILL today or wait until MONDAY.  Another sweet BLESSING to release more goodies to them.

SUPPER will probably be another famous salad to dine on.  Breakfast this morning was a whole avocado turned into guacamole served on Killer Dave's Toast.  Delicious, nutritious and filling.  Satisfying.  Not sure about our LUNCH yet.  A Pot Roast will come out of the freezer and be crock-pot fixed during the week to nourish us as we busily work on the COTTAGE and downsizing.  Carrots, potatoes and onions will be added and cooked slowly all day.  

The week to come does have a medical appointment in it for Hubby's eye check.  He had emergency eye surgery nearly a year ago.  Dry eye has been a problem.  Very uncomfortable for him.  While we're near a large SuperMarket in Topeka, I'll make the best of it and purchase some organic fruits and vegetables.  Also check out GOD's STOREHOUSE just for grins.  Simple pleasures.

TODAY's church service will be HOME DEVOTIONALS and prayer time.  Lord forgive me, but I won't be going to a brick and mortar church building for awhile as we are in between churches sort of speak.  CHURCH in the SPRING, I pray.  

I know of one Church I will visit for SUNDAY SERVICES soon.  I'm planning on attending a small LADIES' BIBLE STUDY soon.  Very informal where I do not have to wear a dress and adorn myself with pearls.  A TIME OF SPIRITUAL GROWTH without the Broadway Production theme where a teacher struts about on a stage making animated comments that are highlighted with stage lights and smoke.  I've been to a few in my day.  There will be no loud music or infrasonic sound bombarding the audience manipulating a feel good moment to give to the offering plate.   The move of God I will feel will be the sweet Holy Spirit from within.  Quietly, I will bow my head and pray spending time in silence listening to that still small voice of God.  

~d

WHAT SOUND DO YOU MAKE WHEN TIRED?

LETTING OUT A SIGH.  When I'm really tired, the sigh comes out of my mouth heaving from my chest and deep from within my belly.  A heavy sigh.  I catch myself sighing after a long day of work from having a lot to do.  Blowing out my breathe with a swishing puff.  Today, I said that I will just get done what I get done.  I kind of had an idea what I wanted to get done, but canceled this thought by encouraging myself to get done what I got done.

I have had very full days of late and the week-end is just as busy.  A drive to the Bank, Lunch at McAlister's where I got a Pecan Berry Chicken Salad with lemonade to drink.  

Fresh strawberries and blueberries, candied pecans and grilled chicken, served with Fat-Free Raspberry-Pecan Vinaigrette dressing.  380 calories.

The day was gorgeous.  OUR SPRING IS HERE.  Off to Dollar Tree to purchase some more shelf liner as I have one more drawer to line before I can say finished.  I'll work on it tomorrow and continue to pack the contents of our main house Kitchen.  I plan to take the Kitchen staples over tomorrow.

We needed to go to Home Depot.  We drove HOME, switched our cars and drove over to Paxico to the Antique store to look at their lighting.  I enjoy browsing.  No luck on lighting for the bathroom.  Hubby is getting closer to wiring the lights beside the large Bathroom mirror and we'll need lights soon.  On the hunt.

Over to the COTTAGE to polish the fronts of the kitchen cabinets.  I'd work a while then sit. Work a while then sit.  Hubby worked on the bathroom details.  I cleaned out some cabinets then polished the wood.  The wood still looks pretty nice, but I kept reminding myself that eventually the Kitchen will be remodeled with different cabinets that will be larger.  

As I morph along, the COTTAGE changes as well.

This was a two salad day as for supper I fixed a salad kit for the two of us.  My stomach should be full of greens.  We topped the night off with a hot chocolate and binge watching a PBS series, Seaside Hotel.  Subtitles make my eyes tired, but the story is interesting.  

What shall tomorrow bring?  Some rest.  Some time at HOME.  Some prayers.  

~d 

HAVING A SLOW POKE LIFE

FRIDAY.  Another Friday is here.  I stayed HOME today as my hubby went to work on the COTTAGE.  Yesterday was an extremely busy day for me.  On the go.  Today, I have to rest some.

He's making progress on laying the backer board on the bathroom floor.  We bought mortar yesterday and took it over to the COTTAGE.  Involved a drive across the Prairie twice as we went to eat out after a long work day.  He carried the heavy supplies into the house as I washed depression glass dishes and finished putting the rest of my dolls in the curio.

HAVING RUNNING WATER never seemed so awesome as when I stood at the sink with a new faucet that my sweet hubby installed so I can wash dishes.  I've been washing dishes that have been boxed up for months for relocating items to the COTTAGE.  I forgot how many of these dinner plates I had collected over the years.  My old dish collection has grown and I think it's high time I use my old dishes.   

As I stood at the kitchen sink washing these Amber colored Federal Glass Madrid pattern Depression Dishes from 1932-37,  I decided that I am going to use these instead of just letting them collect dust. Dishes should be used not abused.  Will be fun to use them.  

I won't be running myself ragged being on the look-out for collecting a full fledge set of these dishes.  I pick up a piece at a time when I'm out and about if the price is cheaply priced.  I know there are plenty of pieces to buy on the internet.  For now, I'm going to continue going at this hit and miss.  It's a treasure hunt and this makes it fun.

I held the dishes up into the natural light coming from the COTTAGE window.  With the light shinning through, I marveled at the beauty of these dishes.  So pretty.  

My HOME will be a mix of old and new things.  I will be downsizing even more as we get moved into the COTTAGE.  I think I am ready to be like a newly wed starting out with little.  I'm not a newly wed, but feel like I need to act more like one with my husband.  When you think about it, a couple doesn't need so much to LIVE by.  Being creative goes a long ways.  I enjoy going thrift shopping.  For now, I will continue looking for things that make me HAPPY.  We are BLESSED to be living in the Flint Hills of Kansas within a small community nestled on the PRAIRIE.  I have no desire to be living in a huge city.  Having a slow poke life fits the bill.

I'm so proud of my husband at how he is working on the projects to make our cottage our new HOME in the SPRING/SUMMER.  The bathroom will be mostly completed then the house will get leveled. 

I'll be cleaning out the COTTAGE KITCHEN CABINETS and sanitizing them and polishing them hopefully next week.  The small pantry contents I have here at the main house will be boxed up and taken to the other pantry.  We'll be cooking very little here as we transition to the COTTAGE. Pots 'n pans are getting boxed up, dishes, glassware, coffee cups, staples, etc.  It amazes me how much I have done and yet have so much more to do.  

DOLLS:  The dolls look just fine for now in the curio cabinets.  I'll rearrange them later after we get settled in as the bedrooms will be arranged a certain way after the front of the COTTAGE is leveled. I continue to clean on the main house's kitchen.  Next week after the COTTAGE CABINETS are suitable for things, I will transfer all the stuff to fill the COTTAGE CABINETS up. This step allows me to continue polishing the main house cabinets.  Slowly I have emptied these cabinets and drawers, washed in the inside and lined the drawers.  NEXT WEEK, I will wash and polish the exterior cabinet doors.

One of my AUNTS passed away last Tuesday.  PEARL.  What a beautiful name.  She was my last living AUNT from both sides of the family.  Her funeral will be next week.  I must go.  It sobers me to think all of my Aunts and Uncles except one Uncle in Colorado have passed away.  28 of them.   Both sets of Grandparents long gone. Husband's side of the family the same.  16 of them.  2 brothers.   Loved ones gone.  My Mom stands alone and knows it.  

Not counting friends and neighbors.  Sobering.  Sobering. 

I know that heaven is holding loved ones that placed their faith and trust in the LORD JESUS. By believing and embracing God's truth about being born again through Christ Jesus we become a new creature in HIM.  All old things pass away.  Amen.  I will believe and be blessed.  How will heaven be?  Keeping my sight on things from above makes turning loose of earthly goods so much easier.  I'll not be living like I live in a museum.  The basics of setting up a HOME is so important.  Being married, making a HOME and having children to raise is an honor and privilege that I have been blessed to experience.  I have been blessed beyond measure.

If we can slow ourselves down long enough to think on these things, we will be blessed.  Thinking on being a child of the most high God and practicing what He says makes for a good LIFE.  He is not a Santa Claus in the sky where everything we want is found under the CHRISTMAS TREE. We have to work at supporting ourselves to receive what God wants for us in the material world. His spiritual gifts are freely given when we walk uprightly before Him with Jesus as our savior.  

I must forge ahead and work at getting our relocating completed.  It is a gift in a way to go through everything and think about what to keep or give away to someone else who needs it.  

I found out that the minister that I listened to when I went to the altar to pray and get saved as a 10 year old child passed away.  I watched his CELEBRATION OF LIFE CEREMONY via computer last night.  

His two children spoke and each were such good speakers.  At one time they were my childhood neighbors.  Seeing them as 68 year olds full of white hair and wrinkles made me think about when they were teenagers.  Here they were grown up, married with children, and grandchildren. Their Mother had passed away 2011 after having a hysterectomy where she received a blood transfusion tainted with hepatitis making her ill taking her to her death.  A very sad event. The death of his wife nearly killed him as he would share on a video.

The Rev. lived to be 91 years old and had remarried almost two years ago.  From seeing photos of him, I believe he developed cancer and passed from this.  

God had turned his life into something beautiful.  When he was 4 and a half years old, his father died and his mother abandoned him and his baby sister.  After four days the law found them where he had been feeding his sister beans from the stove to keep her alive.  They'd go to live with his Grandparents.  Upon High School graduation he became a minister.  He was a singing preacher.  When he was 21 he met his mother.  There were photos of him with his wife and children sitting on a sofa with his biological mother.  He considered his grandparents to be his parents.    

His family had filmed him from a few years ago sharing his life story which was shown at his service.  It was priceless and I think this made for a extremely nice service.  I remember him well. I wish I had written to him when I discovered him on facebook a few years ago and communicated with him.  I regret that I didn't.

I look forward to seeing my family at my Aunt's service next week.  I look forward to seeing some cousins.  I am in hopes of seeing my dear Aunt lying in state as this helps me to put a type of closure to their death.  I'll be saddened if they have cremated her.    

I want to hug my Mother and kiss her on her cheek and tell her I love her.  I have been so incredibly busy that I have not seen her physically in a few months.  She has a medical appointment the later part of March that I should take her to and spend some time with her.  She is blessed to live in a small community of friends.  I'd hate to see her taken from this environment.  I'm not sure how long she will remain there as she is growing frail.      

I'm 67.  Doesn't seem possible.  I have to get my HOUSEHOLD in order AGAIN.  As I go through our belongings, I have the courage to turn loose of much.  Continuing on is my goal to have complete order and peace.  

We're working hard to get the COTTAGE to where we can move in, pack our belongings, do touch-ups on the main house and get settled in the COTTAGE saying good-bye to our 1883 house on a large corner lot.  With nicer weather coming, the yard work will take place. I'll need to hire someone to help with this.  No large garden this year.

Dear Lord, I pray that you help us get what needs done DONE and get on with LIFE.  This moving stuff is hard work for two old people, but we're doing it.  I pray in Jesus name for success and efficiency, no injuries.  Thank you for listening to me each and every day.  I pray for your guidance, protection and power.  In Jesus name I pray, AMEN.

This week is heading toward the week-end.  

Press in and carry on,

~d